“I hope no gays try to pick me up, as I’m really badly dressed today.”

Those were my last words to a friend before I left for Borders.

Borders used to be my favourite hangout, until it became overrun with gays.

I have no issue with gays, if they leave me alone. But too many times when I’m at Borders, a tightpants would give me that look, or muscleguy-in-tank-top would be standing hair-standlingly close…

*shudders*

But that nauseous feeling would eventually wane and be taken over by my longing to breathe Borders air again…

So off I went.

But I hadn’t had lunch, so I dropped by Burger King to grab a Whopper.

As I waited at the counter for my burger, two guys walked in the entrance, triggering off my gaydar.

They queued behind me.

For some reason, my rear end felt especially vulnerable.

“So where shall we sit?” asked one, speaking in the typical gay manner.

“Just find some strategic spot.”

I went to the inside corner to enjoy my meal that took too long to be served, before realising how strategic their spot was - I had a great view of their table.

And it didn’t take long for me to notice that one of them kept glancing in my direction. And the other - he kept turning to look every few minutes.

I can’t say I enjoyed the Whopper.

P.S. Thankfully it was incident-free at Borders.