1. CNY music sounds horrible. It’s playing everywhere, ad nauseam, ad infinitum. And imagine - as long as you’re in this region, you’re gonna have to listen to that stuff every year for the rest of your pathetic life.

2. All the nice restaurants are closed. (Macdonalds is not a nice restaurant.)

3. CNY “goodies” don’t taste good. And there’s nothing else to eat. (Okay, some mandarin oranges are ok, bak kua can be nice in moderation, and some people can make pretty awesome pineapple tarts…)

4. You have to visit certain people, only on CNY. You don’t visit them more than once a year for a reason. (The once a year minimum will qualify you for a place in their wills.)

5. The people you really want to visit are busy visiting people they don’t really want to visit.

6. You have to say nice things you don’t really mean. (XNKL, GXFC, WSRY, etc. )

7. You have to listen to people say nice things they don’t mean. (XNKL, GXFC, WSRY, etc. )

8. Freedom of speech is curtailed - there are many things you’re not allowed to say. (Sorry, I’m not allowed to give examples.)

9.
a. You ask yourself why the ang pow you got contains so little money.
b. Or, people ask you when you’re getting a boyfriend/girlfriend. That brief pause right after your answer indicates that they’re trying to think of someone available (and is probably ugly or psychotic or both).
c. Or, when you’re getting married. (”After we have children,” you feel like answering.)
d. Or when you’re gonna have children. (”Not after seeing the kind of kids you have!”)
e. Or, (to themselves) why the angpow you gave them contains so little.
f. Or, when they can stop visiting you. (But don’t forget to include them in your will.)

10. Chinese New Year is racist.