Tinker, Tailor

I used to like to play on the word “shampoo”.

“Why must we use sham poo? Can’t we use the real thing?”

Seems like a Chinese hotel raised that to new heights.

From darth_spacey.

I was the guest speaker for a friend’s lecture session not too long ago, so she treated me to lunch.

The lecture went pretty well, or so I thought, since I got good responses from the students during the lecture - from jeers to groans to shrieks, and even laughter and finally enthusiastic applause.

So over lunch, the friend told me about the feedback she got from her students about my lecture.

“The guys didn’t say much, but the girls were saying ‘he’s SO cool!’”

Life suddenly became more meaningful: the sky became brighter, the birds sang sweetly and cheerfully, the air smelt fresher.

“But…”

My out-of-the-body experience ended abruptly.

“… they didn’t seem to remember anything about your lesson. All they said was ‘he’s SO cool!’”

I wasn’t quite sure how to react. I spent quite a bit of time preparing for that talk, and the topic I was speaking about is something which means quite a bit to me. All they could remember was that I’m cool?

I had to remedy the situation.

“Why don’t you give me the phone numbers of those girls, and I’ll give them remedial lessons! Personal remedial lessons!”

Too bad she could see through my ploy.

Warning: contains violence and strong language.

That bitch.

It happened on that night, that warm and sweltering night.

I was in bed, whether asleep or half-asleep, I don’t really recall, but she came into the room quietly and unannounced and really without my permission, and before I knew it, she was already all over me.

And a part of me flowed into her.

In all honesty, I had no intention of things turning out that way, but given the time and the state of my mind, there was little I could do to stop what took place. And I never had any feelings for her. Good feelings, that is…

And she was gone by morning. As quietly as she came, she left, leaving me alone, lying there alone, feeling miserable, upset, and exploited.

When I saw her again, I flew into a violent rage, and swung my hand hard and mercilessly at her.

She fell backwards onto the bed. I pinched her hard.

That bitch.

Bitch.

Bitch.
Bitch.
Bitch.
Bitch.
Bitch.

Bitch.
Bitch.
Bitch.
Bitch.
Bitch.
Bitch.
Bitch.
Bitch.
Bitch.
Bitch.
Bitch.
Bitch.
Bitch.
Bitch.
Bitch.

Bitch.

This was after I placed her in a scrap of Straits Times and pinched her.

Bitch.

Heaven is…

Having less than 20kg of stuff to carry on your back.

Being able to sit down because there’s more than 30kg on your back. Even if it’s sitting on a patch of thorny mimosa crawling with ants.

No knee pains and back pains and shoulder pains and headaches. All at the same time.

Drinking a can of Coke. Even if it’s warm Coke.

Peeling off wet underwear and changing into dry ones.

After a shower.

Laying in bed, reading.

Sleeping through a mosquito-free night.

Getting up after 7am. Okay, after 6am is fine as well.

Climbing less than 20 floors worth of stairs in a single day.

Checking my email.

In an aircon room.

Being able to blog again.

Looks like I’m back

I won’t be blogging for the next 2 or 3 weeks. In the meantime, you may surf for pr0n

So yesterday I get this email from someone, declaring:

ya i alone love… u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m not sure why the need for that many exclamation points, but that’s quite besides the point, because (1) we’ve seen each other less than 5 times I believe, so we don’t know each other that well anyway; but the greater issue is that (2) I’m really not into him.

Attached to that email is an mp3 file (”050 - Live - I Alone (1995).mp3″), presumably a love song, but I wasn’t quite in the mood to listen to it.

Not wanting to freak myself out further, I immediately clicked Archive in my Gmail, hoping to forget this little disturbance once and for all. Anyway, this wasn’t the first time I got such stuff from admiring guys…

Then today, I get another email:

hahaha!!!!!!! the song file was not 4 u…. mailed the wrong person.. wtf!!!
sorry

I feel better now.