“So how’s the Matriarch?” a colleague from another department asked when he joined me at the cafeteria.

The Matriarch. I never thought of that.

You see, I’ve been trying to think of a suitable nickname for the new department head, and the best I’ve come up with is “Iron Lady”, since she’s very powerful within the organisation, and she rather reminds me of Margaret Thatcher. And if (or when) she becomes unreasonable, I could call easily change it to “Iron Maiden“.

But when the colleague mentioned “the Matriarch”, I felt like Archimedes in the bathtub (but fully clothed). She, indeed, is the Matriarch.

Like everyone else, my colleague was concerned about how I’m coping with the Matriarch. In fact, he knows the Matriarch a lot better than I do, since he was working under her before she came over to my department. Lucky dude. His complexion seems to have improved.

Actually, even before she took over, she asked to interview the key staff here. Unfortunately, I’m considered one of them.

She started the interview claiming “I haven’t heard anything about you” which is absolute cowdung because I’m pretty notorious and she’s spoken to me before. I almost wanted to reply, “well but I’ve heard a lot about you!” Almost.

Anyway, the interview turned out fine.

I even told her that I had 3 job offers this year, some of them offering to pay me significantly better. Of course I didn’t say it as a threat; it was just to let her know exactly why I’m still sticking with this organisation despite the crappy pay and all. Thankfully she seemed to appreciate that.

She also gave me an opportunity to talk about a new idea I had - the first time I told anyone about it. And she absolutely loved the idea. Loved it loved it loved it. Loved it so much that as I explained the idea to her, she was grinning so wide that it actually got me a little worried.

Sadly, my worries were not unfounded. By the end of it, she tasked me to write a proposal for my idea. And technically she wasn’t even my boss yet!

Emboldened by her newfound love for me, I made use of the interview to challenge her management philosophy and worldview. Her old-school, distrusting style of management backed by her giving-employees-freedom-results-in-total-chaos slippery-slope arguments kept cropping up, and I had to keep arguing against them. Of course she wasn’t about to change her management worldview, but at least she realised that her assumptions wouldn’t go unchallenged. That’s what I hoped for anyway.

But, like I said, the interview turned out fine. It ended with her telling me about how excited she was to have the opportunity to develop her young staff to the fullest. And she actually meant it.

So on the day she officially took over the department, there was a department-wide meeting (of course), where she let all of us know about the direction we’re to take and yada yada.

During the Q&A, one of my colleagues asked a question. Now this colleague is very talented and does really well in his job. He actually transferred to our department only a year or two ago from another department. Unfortunately, it was the Matriarch’s department where he transferred from. Worse still, he transferred because he couldn’t stand the Matriarch’s management style, and even worse, she knows about it.

So when he asked the question, her reply was unduly negative and even confrontational, and it was obvious she didn’t like the question. The colleague made things worse by apologising for asking the question and offered to retract it if she found it offensive. Of course she had to claim that it wasn’t offensive.

I wasn’t happy with how the Matriarch treated the colleague at all, so I spoke up, basically reiterating the colleague’s point, but from a slightly different perspective.

Her reply to me was so positive and supportive I was totally disgusted. We just saw how she chewed my colleague up, and now she’s treating me so nice for asking the same question?

I suppose I should relish being in her good books for now, since I don’t see myself staying there for long.

And now, a few weeks after the regime change, I find that being in her good books doesn’t necessarily translate into an easier life.

Just this morning, I had to send her an email to report about some work I did. And another email to explain another project. Actually, explaining about the justification of the explanation of the reporting of that project. And a few more emails sent to her to report to her some stuff, just so she wouldn’t have to ask me to explain.

She just wants to know what’s going on, to be on top of things, like a good manager should. She thinks.

And I can see things coming to the point where the sum total of reporting and explanations and justifications that I do will be more than the actual real work done.

So back to that very open-ended question posed by my colleague:

“How’s the Matriarch?”

How do I answer that…