Due to the nature of my company’s work, we often request for a room at the client’s office building for the duration of the project to do our stuff.

So recently, as we (the project team and the client rep) were inside the lift, it occurred to the client rep to inform us about the project room she booked for us.

“It’ll be on the nineteenth floor,” she announced.

Then she looked at me with a knowing smile as she continued, “the nineteenth floor has a lot of pretty girls.”

“Er why were you looking at me when you said that?” I immediately protested. But she kept smiling.

WTH.

And just today, when we were having a meeting, I was trying to make a point about the use of language, that we should be more direct.

“It’s like me saying that I’m a non-female,” I said, “when it just means that I’m a guy.”

“You’re gay,” she retorted.

WTH.

Speaking of me being suspected of being gay, it’s been such a regular thing that it’s not worth mentioning anymore.

But last week, as I was sitting on the wet grass after the rain letting mosquitoes and sandflies eat me, a friend from my previous workplace SMSed me:

She: I just heard some rumours about you from a friend!

Me: Tell me everything!!

She: Well, they say you had a brief relationship with Mark last year. And something about you appearing in a video. In short, they say you’re gay.

WTH.

Me: Warrau!!! Must be some sour grapes girl.

She: Hur. Are you sure it isn’t true?

WTH! What kind of friend is she?

Me: None of it is true lah. Who told u?

She: A friend? She didn’t mention who told her though.

Me: Scarly it’s Mark who’s the sour grapes one. Ask her more!

She: Hah. Okay I asked her. She said someone else (she can’t remember who) told her last year. And the video thing, apparently you were the one narrating the video.

Me: Weird stuff. The narrator better sound good.

She: She said you sounded gay. Haha! You mean you really narrated for the video?

Me: Don’t have lah. Damn my lunch not here yet!

She: So weird! Then why would she say you were?

Me: Slowly find out more. I’m starving.

After a while she SMSed me again, after consulting her gay friend.

She: He thinks you’re gay.

Me: How dare he. You mean I give gay vibes???

She: No lah, from the replies you give me and the ‘denials’ you’re making, he says he can tell.

Me: Buah. I shall take a nap now.

For the record, I’m a very straight non-gay heterosexual guy.