Tinker, Tailor

MSN chat with a friend.

Friend: are u gay?
Friend: secretly gay?
Friend: i have a guy friend who’s interested

Me: WARRAU!!!!!!!!!!
Me: interested in what/!?

Friend: in ur macho-ness
Friend: he says he’s feeling hot right now just thinking abt u

Me: eh he reads my blog?!?

Friend: no

Me: eh then?

Friend: he does now
Friend: hahahaha

Me: he met me before?

Friend: no

Me: u better not show him my pics!

Friend: hahahaha, why?

Me: wait he lose control

Friend: he’s a bouncer, u guys can bounce together.

Me: lucky i don’t club
Me: wait he frisk me thoroughly

Anyway, it’s time to review her “friend” status.

I just found out that entry to museums will be free this Saturday (31 May), as it’s International Museum Day.

Of course I’ll be at one of them.
Of course I won’t tell you which one I’m visiting.
Sorry stalker

Anyway here’s a photo I took some time back at the Singapore Art Museum. I was totally impressed by this little girl - she was stopping to admire every painting.

She’s gonna be so hot when she grows up.

P.S. Here are the official details of the International Museum Day 2008.

I don’t feel very articulate today. But I’ll still try to describe the somewhat curious incident today. In short sentences.

I was at Starbucks.
I was reading. Trying to read.
Right behind me were 2 guys.
One looked Chinese, the other Caucasian.
They were conversing.
I could hear them clearly.
The Chinese guy had an American accent.
The Caucasian guy had some strange Asian accent.
Yes, I was eavesdropping.
They were exchanging stories.
About how people keep assuming that they had a girlfriend or wife.
Yes, they were gay.
(No, they didn’t hit on me.)

People who know me well know that I can’t think when I’m hot. When I’m feeling hot I mean. As in, feeling hot because the weather is hot, and not because I’m feeling sexy. Besides, I don’t think I ever feel hot when I’m feeling hot. I mean, I don’t feel sexy when the weather is hot.

And the weather today is disgustingly disturbingly distraughtfully hot. I had the misfortune of having to work most of the morning at a cafeteria that had no air conditioning. Of course, I was surly, sweaty, and sticky. Especially for someone like me who loves the cold - remember my post about my 15 degree office aircon?

Which makes me long for cold weather. Like the last time I went to Europe…

I was at an airport for transit. Having a bit of time to spare, I decided to get out of the building to take a walk outside.

It was 4 degrees Celsius.

I was wearing a long sleeved t-shirt. My jacket was in the luggage somewhere in some corner of the airport.

As I stepped out into the 4 degrees Celsius air outside, I felt a little foolish, as everyone else was in thick winter jackets while I was in my flimsy long sleeved t-shirt. It turned out to be one really cool and refreshing hour of strolling.

That same night, I was in another country, settling into my hotel room. The temperature was around minus 5 degrees Celsius. I decided to go for a walk.

Yes, with my jacket, over my long sleeved t-shirt. I also had a pair of jeans, a pair of socks. And, a pair of crocs.

Within half a minute, I was rushing back to the hotel. The strong wind was freezing my ears and face off. No wonder people needed balaclavas, other than to rob banks.

A few minutes later, I was out there again, with a lot more confidence and clothing - a fleece beanie over my head and ears, my jacket again, a wool cardigan, my long sleeved t-shirt, long johns for both my body and legs, my jeans and socks. And the pair of crocs.

Amazingly, normal socks were crocs are good enough for subzero temperatures.

As I was saying, people who know me well know that I can’t think when I’m hot. And since I can’t think, I can’t blog. Just a quick post to let you know

So I was invited for some buffet lunch thingy to celebrate the successful launch of the product that I was involved in creating. It was nice to be back at their office after so long, since they were really a great bunch to work with - friendly, great sense of humour. I guess it helps that all of them are female.

So there was I, contentedly munching on my slice of watermelon, when I noticed that I was surrounded by 3 of them in the group.

“So, are you attached?” asked the main client rep. If you remember, she was the one mentioned in this post.

“Eh why do you wanna know?”

“Just answer the question!” She’s very assertive.

“I’m detached. Hey but you’re already married. And you have kids!”

“I don’t care. That means you’re not attached lah! This is good news!”

“Wah you want to introduce some people to me? Sure, you can get them to form a queue here.”

“Siao! No lah there’s someone who’s interested in you and she’s recently available. You must quickly grab the chance!”

“Who is it?”

“You look around - the one who’s tall and slim and pretty!”

I looked around. There were something like 50 people there, and around 45 of them were female.

“Uhmmm… they all look quite short to me.”

“Don’t pretend lah. You know who it is!”

Anyone who thinks I have a good job doesn’t understand the problems I have to face in my job.

Neck, shoulders, arms, hands, back, butt, thighs, feet.

I’m not exaggerating, but my muscles in those places are aching like mad today. Seems like only my calves and shin muscles got spared.

Notes to self:

• If you haven’t been playing intense basketball for about a year and a half, take it easy when you’re playing your next game. Your self esteem does not have to depend on how many points you can score.
• Taking it easy does not mean playing intense basketball for 3 hours. 1 hour or so should be fine.
• Do a bit of stretching before you start the next time. I know you never ever did that. But you’re slightly older than you were the last time, and now you need stretching.
• When your thighs start to tighten and cramp up during the game, it does not mean that you keep playing like a mad man. It means that you sit down and rest.
• When you’re moving slow motion and you can’t jump anymore because your legs feel like lead, it means you should sit down and call it a day.

In short, I don’t just need major and radical massage - I need surgery!

But hell, I’d do this again anytime. It’s worth all the pain.

I’m sitting here in a cantankerous mood because it’s past midnight and it’s still so hot.

Those who know me well know that I don’t function well when it’s too hot. I’m like a computer CPU chip - when it’s overheated, things don’t function properly, and the computer might even hang.

So here I am, sitting in the 30 degC heat.

I can’t help but think about an office I used to work in.

It was cool. Literally.

The office was a small room with just me and my colleague.

After he assured me that he liked that cold, I decided to tweak the central aircon vent, so that more cool air could come into the office. The temperature fell from around 23 degC to 18 to 19 degC.

On some evenings, it dropped to around 15 or 16 degC.

I know because I had a thermometer stuck on my computer monitor.

Once in a while, colleagues would pop by the office. Common comments included

“So cold in here!”

“It’s like a fridge in here!”

“How do you all stand it in here?”

Anyway, during those days, our boss was this very chatty and sociable person. He enjoyed popping by our office, partly because both of us had pretty wide knowledge so there were many areas we could talk about that was unrelated to work, and partly because we were the only ones who didn’t ignore him.

The problem was, he could spend a couple of hours chatting with us, so that it actually interfered with our work.

So when he started complaining about the cold, it was good news. It meant that he wouldn’t stay very long in our office.

Or so we thought.

I still remember him sitting there on the chair, with his arms crossed and hugging himself while bouncing his legs to warm himself, while excitedly chatting with us. It was a strange sight.

But his conversations still lasted as long.

Ah well. I miss the aircon.