“So, what kind of girl are you looking for?” asked the girl whom I was having lunch with.

“First, she has to be really hot and pretty…”

“So superficial!”

“It’s not about being superficial,” I replied. “I’m actually being very holistic.”

“Holistic?” she probably never encountered that word before.

“Meaning I look at the person as a whole - but I start from the looks first.”

“That’s being superficial what. What if she’s a really good person on the inside?”

“I judge based on looks first. If the looks fail, then I don’t care how good she is on the inside. If she’s really hot, I’ll proceed on to look at how good she is as a person.”

She didn’t look too excited.

“Look,” I continued, “there are so many girls out there to pick from. It’s stupid to pick any random girl to see if she’s a good person first, then start deciding if you’re okay with her looks. It’s far more efficient to eliminate all the ugly ones first, then focus on the hot ones to find out more.”

“Okay lah okay lah,” she clearly wasn’t too pleased with my logic.

Then a smile flashed across her face.

“So,” she said sweetly and hopefully, “would a girl around my standard make it?”

I froze.

I looked at her uncomfortably.

I frowned.

“What??!?” she almost screamed at me.

“Nothing. Oh by the way the food here is pretty good!”

“Stop changing the subject!” She wasn’t so sweet anymore, “answer the question!”

“Uhmmm… you very sure you wanna know?”

Pause.

“Idiot!”