Jane, the colleague sitting in front of me started groaning. It’s really not that unusual, except that this time it was louder. Then she went “oh my god! oh my god! oh my god!”

“Biscuit?” offered Sue, who sits next to her.

“Chewing gum?” I offered. Yes, I do have a stash for emergencies like this.

“I WANNA KILL MYSELF!!!” went Jane

“Scissors?” “Knife?” Sue and I responded simultaneously and respectively.

We’re such helpful colleagues.